On the rocks alert: Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mildred Baena fight over love child.

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 29 August 2011



Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!



It looked like the Arnold Schwarzenegger divorce might become one of the biggest gossip stories of the year when it broke back in May, especially as juicy details kept leaking. But after an early flurry, everyone except the Enquirer and Globe lost interest. This latest story leaves Maria Shriver out completely, instead focusing on the secrets and threats between Arnold and the mother of his child Mildred Baena. The boy's name is Joseph.



I apologize for being insulting, but for such a rich and powerful guy, all the women Arnold allegedly cheated with have been pretty darned homely.

On the rocks alert: Caroline Kennedy saves Maria Shriver from divorce hell!

Publication: Globe
Date: 22 August 2011

In June, it looked like the Arnold and Maria split might have legs, but here we are in mid-August and the story has been ignored. One theory for this is that he's too powerful and the magazines are trying not to piss him off. Another theory would be that the story is less interesting because Maria is not a young woman capable of maternity. A third would be that none of the gossip rags has a source near enough to the couple that will dig up fresh dirt.

In any case, the Globe goes with a story that includes Caroline Kennedy coming to cousin Maria's rescue. Here are the headlines.

• Caroline Kennedy's revenge on cheating Arnold!
• She rescues cousin Maria from divorce hell!