All this week's news all three Kardashian sisters.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 7 Nov. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! The troubled marriage of Kim Kardashian is sucking most of the oxygen out of the room in their tiny gossip world, but Weekly Life & Style decides to do a cover about all three sisters. Here are the headlines.

• Three Kardashian exclusives
• Khloe's new nose
• Tears on Kim's b-day
• A ring for Kourtney
  

Problems With Plastic Alert: Chaz Bono's $10,000 Plastic surgery nightmare!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 17 Oct. 2011

The Enquirer tells us that Chaz Bono has had a $10,000 plastic surgery nightmare, and puts a picture of him shirtless on the cover. The also call this a "DWTS shocker!", so it's pretty obvious that Chaz's being on the show is the reason this is new the Enquirer thinks you can use.

Problems With Plastic Alert and Fussin' and Feudin' Alert: Hillary's secret plastic surgery!

Publication: Globe
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

The Globe continues with the theme that Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton really don't like one another. Here are the headlines.

• After Michelle Obama calls her old, sloppy & fat…
• Hillary's secret plastic surgery!
• Now she's ready to kick the Obamas out of the White House!
  

Problems With Plastic Alert: Plastic surgery gone wrong!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

The low rent Examiner goes with a story about plastic surgery snafus, most of them on women older than I am, some who were famous before I graduated high school. There are pictures of Loni Anderson, Linda Evans (pictured above), Priscilla Presley, Courtney Love and Tanya Tucker, all of them looking a bit too much like Mickey Rourke.

Courtney Love is the odd person out on this list. Everyone else was famous in the 1960s or 1970s, while Love's fame started in the 1990s. Many from the target demographic for the low rent Examiner won't even know who she is.

Damn You Skinny Alert™ and Problems With Plastic Alert™: Stories about Lindsay Lohan's little sister Ali

Publications: Star, In Touch
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Ali Lohan! Lindsay's little sister works as a model and is only 17, but she's already had a remarkably unnecessary and unattractive plastic surgery and has lost a ridiculous amount of weight.

Another shining testament to the parenting skills of the elder Lohans.

Here are the headlines.

• In Touch: Dying to be thin (pictures of Lohan and Taylor Armstrong)
• Star: Ali Lohan plastic surgery scandal
  She's only 17
  

I debated whether the phrase "dying to be thin" should be considered a figure of speech or if Lohan and Armstrong should be put on the tabloid vulture watch. Given how tough a stretch Taylor Armstrong is going through and what a mess the Lohan family is, I decided it should be considered more literal than figurative and used the label Not Long 4 This World (indirect), the lowest level of tabloid death watch. Both probably have long lives in front of them, but adding them to the list is not going to ruin the tabloids' track record, which is very bad indeed. After adding these names, there have been 91 people marked for death in the rags since the beginning of 2010 and only ten of them have died so far.

Problems With Plastic Alert: JWoww's surgery confession.

Publication: In Touch

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



When it comes to Nielsen ratings, Jersey Shore is one of the big hits of reality TV. When it comes to interest from The Only Ten Magazines That Matter, it's not as popular as Mob Wives. Almost all the stories about Jersey Shore this year have involved JWoww, the taller brunette with the massive rack, who confesses to some plastic surgery.

Problems With Plastic Alert: Vienna "hated her face"

Publication: Us Weekly

Date: 15 August 2011



Vienna from The Bachelor show several seasons back hated her face, so she got a nose job. I don't watch the show, but from what I could gather, most people hated her personality more.

And the camera noses in to the tears on her face: Denise Richards breaks her silence

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 8 August 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!

Us has a long interview with Denise Richards inside. Here are the headlines.

• Hookers and drugs - what our girls know
• How I fled while six months pregnant
• Inside Charlie's craziest night ever
• While I regret my boob jobs
  
  

Annoying label bookkeeping #16

Yet another grab bag story with lots of people on the cover requires an extra post for labels.

Problems With Plastic Alert: Plastic surgery confessions!

Publication: Star
Date: 1 August 2011
(photo nicked for exposay.com, copyright Chris Hatcher)

Another grab bag of celebrities who have gone under the knife are presented on the cove of Star this week. There are a couple of "Guess Who?" pictures, but as you know, I don't play that. A lot of the women are older stars barely of any interest to the tabloids. For example, Linda Evans get mentioned for the first time in at least two years and Madonna and Lisa Rinna (pictured above) get mentioned for the first time in 2011. Suzanne Somers and Nicole Kidman are also mentioned, common names when plastic surgery is the topic.

If any name on the list counts as a surprise at all, they say that Jennifer Aniston, the youngest person on the list by several years, has been under the knife twice. Star has floated this story before.

Problems With Plastic Alert: Mob Wives Renee's plastic surgery nightmare.

Publication: OK!
Date: 25 July 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Renee Graziano! The show Mob Wives has been mentioned a few times already this year, but usually no names are given on the cover. This time, Mob Wife Renee is identified by name, and it's another bad plastic surgery story, a common ailment of reality TV stars.

Problems With Plastic Alert™: Teresa gets Botox and a butt lift.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 25 July 2011

The supermarket checkout rags not owned by AMI - People, OK!, Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly and In Touch - don't beat up real celebrities as much as the AMI publications do, because they actually get interviews and they need to keep access. On the other hand, they don't have to worry about access to reality TV stars, because the shows make certain they can get publicity, whether positive or negative. Because they do not fear reality TV stars, the magazines can tell as many negative stories as they want.

Right now, the most exploited sitting ducks are a whole mess of young girls from Teen Mom, the silly publicity hounds on The Bachelor/Bachelorette and Teresa Guidice from The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Once again, she is mocked for having yet more plastic surgery.

Problems With Plastic Alert™: Botox stars and frozen faces.

Publication: Star
Date: 18 July 2011

Star has an expose about the Hollywood stars using botox, with a promise of 14 pictures inside. The person they put on the cover was Megan Fox, an actress who gained fame by being willing to take pictures that made her look like a stripper or a hooker, then had a change of heart about that career path and more or less fell off everyone's radar.

She has posted a short video on YouTube that shows her forehead actually can wrinkle if she makes a supreme effort.